Movies
by Myranda Wright Sarah Spinelli
Summary: Paige and Jubes make an interesting discovery under Wolverine's mattress.


**Title:** Movies

**Author:** Sarah Spinelli, AKA PyroPixxy, AKA Myranda Wright

**Characters:** Jubilee and Paige, Wolverine and Jean mentioned.

**Rating:** PG for sexual themes and vague discussion, but nothing graphic. Some people might rate it higher, but some people are also frigid and irrational.

**Summary:** Some high-pitched squealy stuff between Jubes and Paige upon an interesting discovery at the New York mansion. Also, a brief mention of ONE OF THE BEST MOVIES EVER MADE IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE! Not that I'm a biased child of the eighties or anything. ^_~

It had to happen sometime. We love it, we hate it, we secretly fantasize about it late at night and whisper sweet nothings in its ears when we think no one is looking. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, iiiiiiiit's PWP! Completely pointless and often asinine, it's a great way to have fun with our favorite characters, _and_ to make mean things happen to them without any sort of follow-up, profound meaning or character development. Joy.

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"There's no way this is going to work, Jubilee."

"Of _course it's gonna work! I've got it all figured out, right down to a sea."_

"A 'tee', Jubes. A 'tee'."

"Whatever, whatever. _So not the point. You grab that end of the mattress and I'll grab this end."_

"The _mattress? Why would he put your birthday present under the mattress? What exactly do you think he got you?"_

"I know Wolvie, Paige. He's a _sneaky_ bastard. Like, trust me for once, would ya?"

"Fine. Dandy. You have my blind and adoring trust, you psycho."

"Okay, then grab that mattress, chica!"

"I can't believe I'm *urmph!* helpin' you *ugh!* with this *uffig!* ridiculous plan..."

"'Uffig'?"

"Don't mock the sound effects!"

"Oooh, movies! Told you we'd find somethin' under there. You know if the new DVD player is set up in the livin' room? We can have a movie night."

"_New DVD player?"_

"Yeah...I, um...sorta had a...disagreement with the last one. There was fire. And smoke. Lotsa smoke."

"Lordy, child...Anyway, these are all unsealed and opened, so I don't think they're your present. And...oh...oh, my..."

"Wow, lookit those _covers_!"

"That's...that's a lot of skin. Wha--"

"Whoo-hoo! Porno! I'm gettin' porno!"

"Gah! Putthemattressback! Putthemattressback!"

"Oh, quit coverin' your eyes, ya friggin' prude. It's just a little ugly-bumpin' between paid professionals."

"PUTTHEMATTRESSBACK!"

"Come on, Paige! You're tellin' me that you've never been...curious?"

"What are you _talkin__' about?"_

"I'm _talkin__' about these flicks, Pollyanna. Ever seen one?"_

"Most certainly not, and I don't plan on starting now! Besides, this stuff is Mister Logan's *gulp* _private property, and I don't think he'll be real pleased with us messin' with it."_

"Pish. I'm not 'fraid of him! He's just a great big ass-kickin' teddy bear who drinks a lot, swears like a sailor, fights big scary guys and apparently likes 'Anal Teen Lovin'."

"DROPITDROPITDROPIT!"

"Oh, please. Some of this looks kinda interesting. Educational, even. I never realized how many different kinds of nipples there are."

"Are you actually serious? You want to watch a _porno_?"

"Why not? It'll be an experience."

"Oh, God, that lady looks just like Mrs. Summers!"

"Shittin' me much, Paige? You've never, ever wanted to see what these things are like, these _forbidden_ things? Not even _once?"_

"I...I dunno...I guess, I guess I've wondered...you know...Jeez, she really does look _just_ like her!"

"Well, now's our chance!"

"We are _not watching one of these!"_

"Right! We should watch at least three or four to get a good sampling. That way, we can find out what Wolvie likes."

"I don't _care what he likes, you little perv!"_

"But he's a guy! On a deep down level, he's 'Every-Man'. This is our first real chance to, like, delve into the male psyche."

"'Delve'? 'Psyche'? Isn't this more like shufflin' through his underwear drawer?"

"Or his undies themselves."

"Jubilee!"

"Shut up, freezer-panties. Let's just pick a few and we can watch 'em right here on his TV."

"I don't really know..."

"We'll get 'em put away, good as new, long before he comes home. We don't even have to watch all of it. Just the choice bits."

"I..."

"Come on, you know you want to."

"Aren't I a little too mature to fall for peer pressure?"

"Hell no."

*sigh* "You're right. I hate that."

"Pick a nasty lookin' one! Here, I'll hold the mattress up, you pick 'em out."

"Why do _I have to pick?"_

*groan* "'Cause I'm already holdin' up the mattress! Just reach in and grab one with a lot of flesh-tone on the cover, ya big baby!"

"Oh, fine. But I'm not actually going to look at them!"

"Ah, cram it. What's that one, in the black case? Next to 'Bump and Grind College 3'. No, underneath 'Double Penetration Princesses'."

"You know, this is kind of hard to do with my eyes closed!"

"Okay, okay. A little to the left. No, not that far! Yeah, underneath that one. On top of 'Catholic Slumber Party 6'."

"Sweet Jesus..."

"Literally."

"_Jubilee!"_

"Come on, if I hadn't said it, it would've just festered there."

"God, here, just _take it!"_

"It...it's..."

"Yeah?"

"It's..."

"It's _what, Jubes? You're killin' me!"_

"It's 'The Goonies'..."

*silence* "The _naughty_ version?"


End file.
